yeah so i was at my friends house (im a girl hes a guy) and his parents weren’t home so we broke into his dad booze cabinet and started drinking. we ended up cudding and watching re-runs of full house, and he told me he loved me and i was like your just drunk and he said ‘yeah but im not saying it because im drunk. im saying it as fact, it is 54 degrees outside, the ocean is salty, and i love you’ and i was like dayum son and thats the story of how i lost my virginity.

(via gotmuke)


can 2014 be the year i become hot

(via jackgilinsexy)


my friendship comes in 3 levels:

1) sass 

2) insults

3) inappropriate sexual humor. 

(via sparkhz)


200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

(Source: religiousmom, via myprettyconfessions)






if you kill a guy who has a boner does his penis continue to be erect or what

Yes. It does actually. And when they go to the morgue to be prepared for burial, the person cleaning them up and such breaks it so it lays flat.

“So what do you do for a living?
“I put makeup on dead people and snap boners.”

"Die Hard"

Die hard

(via isaaclahey-tw)